QUIDNUNC: Make America an illegal-immigrant free-zone again, and A-Town Pizza runs out of chee$e

Why anyone in Colorado Springs would care what Denver does, as long as it doesn’t affect the price of Broncos tickets or keep Focus on the Family from focusing on your family, isn’t really so much a mystery here

QUID HAS HEARD the hardest part of being honest is the honesty part, for political types. Seems that the Colorado supporters of Arizona Sheriff Joe “Boy, I say, Boy” Arpaio just can’t complain enough about what they lovingly hate about sanctuary cities. They just can’t say enough about how anxious they are to send the damn Mexicans packing for Juarez so that America can be a great place again to get a job cleaning hotel rooms, offices, picking tomatoes and pulling down hundreds of dollars a year riding those cool lawnmowers all over the city. Most anxious these days is Colorado Springs (cue the ominous chord progression — DUM, Dum, dum ) state Rep. Dave Williams, R-Oh Please. Williams says he’ll find a way to outlaw Denver’s recent push to shove the Trump Administration’s Roust-A-Mexican Program up the White House aspirations to make America an illegal-immigrant-free zone. Why anyone in Colorado Springs would care what Denver does, as long as it doesn’t affect the price of Broncos tickets or keep Focus on the Family from focusing on your family, isn’t really so much a mystery here. If Denver becomes a beacon for people who’ve lived here longer than most “legal” people in Colorado Springs have, and they decide to move to a place where they’re welcome, who will flip burgers for the Chosen Ones south of Monument Hill and keep the bathrooms tidy at that city’s fabulous chain restaurants? More critical, who will Colorado Springers blame for car wrecks, bad weather and having to “markay el numero dos?” Draw your own delusions.

AND QUID HAS HEARD the way to a man’s heartbreak is through his Vegas. Seems that A-town’s most prolific flat-bread tweeter has flown the coop. A-Town Pizza owners Will and Jesse Harris had been living the dream in Las Vegas the last two weeks, according to their Facebook page, riding helicopters over canyons, drinking the drinkies, hoping his troubles stayed in Aurora and ‘splain’ to his employees and customers on 9News why his two Aurora pizza shops got locked up last week. “Seized by the City of Aurora,” was plastered on the doors. City bean counters say Harris is into them for $30K in back taxes. Harris not only used to turn out impressive Neapolitan gems from the oven, but the wildest tweets in A-Town, too. “If you found the right worm hole would you take it.” and “Yep straight wife her up,” are but a couple of recent tweets that makes @RealDonaldTrump so boring. So long, @ATownPizzaria, and that’s for all the lish.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS