QUID HAS HEARD that GOP Senate candidate Darryl Glenn has sparked the biggest handwriting investigation a newspaper this side of the Mississippi has tackled since the San Fran rags were on the heels of the Zodiac. The Ted Cruz loyalist Glenn, as Post scribblers pointed out earlier this week, supposedly was taken into court and charged with assault after someone by the name of Darryl Glenn was accused of punching Glenn’s father back in November 1983, when Glenn was still in high school. Only trouble is Glenn says it wasn’t him. Nope, never even heard of it. As the Posties hired an expert to confirm that a signature on a complaint almost assuredly was Glenn, the Republican Party’s hope for unseating Sen. Michael Bennet this November went very quiet on social media and regular media about the police report — though the Colorado Springs Independent managed earlier this month to get Glenn to hypothesize that, maybe, perhaps, it was his older brother, Cedric, who got in the domestic scrape. How does any of this matter for someone casting their ballot in 2016? Glenn’s fans on Twitter are quick to make that argument while devouring the latest development out of the Dems’ national convention. Just a tempest in a tea party pot… until somebody gets caught lying.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that Gubner John Hickenlooper finally gets his moment in the sun at the Democrats’ confab in Philly this Thursday. After all the governing, book-writing, book-touring, interviewing and angling, Colorado’s own chief executive will take the stage and proudly accept the concession prize of all concession prizes for someone given a semi-serious look at veep: A speaking slot close enough to Hillary that the pundits won’t have much time to make quips about Colorado’s embrace of 4/20 before moving onto the main event. Quid can’t blame him for maybe wanting that ticket onto Clinton’s ticket to get out of Colorado, what with the partisan gridlock in the legislature, infrequent flirtations by rural politicos to split off onto their own state, all the obnoxious out-of-staters moving in and yet another fracking fight looming at the ballots. So if you see Gov. Hick back in town come this next week, remind him of our 300-some days of sunshine, our best-in-the-world craft brews and all of the hours he won’t spend fielding questions about deleted emails, hacked emails and Benghazi. And please, if you get any calls from ex-Gov. Bill Ritter looking to extol the virtues of serving one term and leaving, have him leave a voicemail.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.