QUID HAS HEARD that in this era of tele-commuting and tele-working, tele-governing is all the rage. With schedules packed with ribbon cuttings, schmoozing and smiling long and deep while meeting with developers, city council members can’t always find the time to make an in-person showing at some of the many committee meetings they are expected to attend. But a certain councilman from the southeastern reaches of the city is setting himself up for an embarrassing audio episode if he can’t figure out how to work his mobile phone’s mute function. During a call-in to a recent council committee meeting, Councilman Bob Roth filled the conference room with the loud and cringe-inducing sounds of him squeezing into or out of his vehicle, listeners surmised. The aria was complete with a door buzzer. Now, don’t take this the wrong way. Your humble correspondent is a fan of the call-in and anything that means avoiding City Hall. In fact, Quid’s preferred mode of municipal governance involves sitting on a couch in a bath robe and watching Golden Girls, so clearly this is not meant as a criticism, just an observation. And maybe a warning. Take care now, Mr. Roth, lest you become a meme reminiscent of Leslie Nielson wired with a mobile mike while in the bathroom as a character in “Police Squad.”
AND QUID HAS HEARD that the fight club formerly known as the Aurora City Council could go ring-side with prizes soon. Seems that the scrappy old-town Aurora Councilwoman Sally “Jaw Breaker” Mounier is not only a serious fan of bringing spectator boxing to the eclectic Stanley Marketplace, she wants it at city hall, too. As is often the case, Mounier and Councilman Charlie “The Shiv” Richardson went another round during this week’s council confab, raising voices and eyebrows over things like the temperature inside the city council’s star chamber. At one point, The Jawbreaker clearly challenged The Shiv to take it outside and settle the score by going fisticuffs instead of ad nauseam on the dais. That’s what your faithful hack wants to hear. If you can’t beat ‘em, beat the hell out of ‘em. In the fight of the century between The Jawbreaker and the Shiv, Quid admits it’s tough to determine who would be favored in Vegas, or in the employee lounge at City Hall. In this round, Quid’s hard-earned Social Security dollars would prop up The Shiv, who apparently hasn’t lost a fight yet. Hopefully, this is just an undercard for the main event: Mayor Steve Hogan and his former wife Councilwoman Barb Cleland settle the score once and for all with MMA moves and straight jackets on the Great Lawn at City Hall.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS