Sweet mother o’ God, fellow Colorado voters who haven’t yet succumbed to the Trumpish Kook-Aid — stop.
Do not cancel your voter registration because our mentally ill Demander in Chief has stirred up nonsense over voter fraud, and because stammering state election officials forgot how madly, truly, deeply Trump and his collective dump are mistrusted and despised in these parts.
Like just about every single thing President Donald Trump touches, tweets, infers, shakes hands with or drools on, his farcical and spurious voter fraud drive and committee has caused widespread harm. Now it’s panic. Don’t, for the love of America, let Trump and foolish partisan state officials compel you to stop voting.
Arapahoe County Clerk and Recorder Matt Crane says that half of the few hundred voter registration cancellations he’s gotten so far this year came in this week. People are seriously worried that the Creeper in Chief and his warped little minions are going to get their tiny little hands and even smaller minds on our personal voter vitae and somehow use it against us. So real people are really canceling their voter registrations.
Don’t do it, Colorado. Here’s what you need to know:
1. You’re going to need your active voter registration next year during the 2018 mid-term election when each congressional race across the country becomes a referendum on impeaching Trump, his entire White House freak show and firing anybody in Congress who has aided and abetted the single greatest mistake America ever made. Ever.
2. We all know there is no problem with voter fraud in Colorado. The last time this happened, former GOP booster Colorado Secretary of State Scott Gessler played to some of his fellow tin-foil hat pals with this nonsense. He and Arapahoe County DA George Brauchler had to dab egg off their faces when a massive “voter fraud” search ended up with one conviction, one. It involved a middle-aged Polish dude in Aurora who had some ‘splainin’ to do. It’s unclear what Putin and his pals tried to do during the last election, but there is absolutely no widespread or even mentionable voter fraud here nor anywhere across the country. None.
3. There is only one reason this non-story fights for headlines along with forest fires, CNN Trump-wrestling videos, what orifices TV news personalities bleed from, what the White House hired gun is lying about today, how even those dining at the Trump buffet can swallow the crap he and GOP Congressional leaders are serving up in the way of healthcare reform, and that one of America’s most mentally unstable citizens controls the country’s military and nukes. It’s because Trump is a scary dude. The faux-fraud-voter fire was started by Trump, who simply cannot understand how he lost the popular vote by 3 million votes. Remember, this is a man who doesn’t understand how hard it could be to run the country, or that health-care is tough to fix, or that people are creeped out by his creepy behavior, or that he faces impeachment for clearly obstructing the FBI investigation into his corrupt White House,. He doesn’t get it that when it turns out he actually won’t get rid of all the Mexicans and Muslims and that the car and coal jobs in Middle America will never, ever be coming back, that his adorers will turn on him like fire on a climate-killed fir tree. Far more unfathomable than what unknown sub-atomic magic makes the universe filled with stuff we can touch and see is how anything more than a smattering of Americans ever voted for Trump at all. For Trump, only one thing can explain any of this: voter fraud. This is a man who as recently as Friday told the press he hates so much that Mexican people and leaders like him.
4. This is what’s most important. What Trump’s voter fraud commission is asking for is public information available to anyone. Even me. Even you. Even Trump. Not only is the information about when and where people vote useful in analyzing the most important part of our democracy, it works to help keep the whole system honest. There is every reason to make sure that your name is readily available for inspection when and where you vote. You can believe that nobody but you and whom you choose to tell will ever know how you voted. Ever. Really.
5. Colorado Secretary of State Wayne Williams is a Republican. He comes from Colorado Springs, where Republicans are really Republicans and stand together like the invisible subatomic stuff that holds steel together — just like Democrats. Republicans who talk crap about other Republicans aren’t long for this political world, even when the Republican is a piece of crap, like Trump. So why would anyone be surprised that Williams tap-danced around the fact that this entire voter-fraud festival is just another stinky Trumpian turd. The voter fraud committee and its requests are just like all the rest of what this un-White-House-broken snarling presidential dog leaves all over the country? I’m not saying it’s too late for Williams to call a press conference, drop to his knees and beg forgiveness from all of us for not pointing out the obvious. He could raise his hands, stare right into the camera and gush about Trump’s entire presidency being built on lies, damned lies and Kellyanne Conway lies. Williams could break into a tenor aria about how the entire voter-fraud thing is just another outlandish and fiendish fabrication. Don’t hold your breath. The last American politician who put country before party and could sing a little just left the White House.
If you’re still wildly upset about all this, by all means, carry on. Tweet, post, call, email, protest, pour bottles of Trump’s crappy wine in the toilet and post it on Instagram. But do not cancel your voter registration. Make sure every member of Congress knows oh-yes-you-damn-well-are-going-to-vote next year, and you are voting for the woman or man who promises to hold Trump accountable and those who have been complicit trying to drag the country down the abyss. And if you’re questioning any of this, ask yourself, ‘what do you think Trump would want you to do?’