PERRY: From far right to down low, Sheriff ‘Selfie’ Maketa scores a mug shot and indictments

Before he was the face in the bathroom selfie, the Sheriff of Nuttingham was the face of an effort by a posse of rural sheriffs to sue Colorado

Pardon me while I preen over the fate and karma of yet another righteous righty from Colorado Springs.

The infamous and very former El Paso County Sheriff “Happy Pants” Terry Maketa was back at the county jail Wednesday. But this time he had his shirt on and was smiling for his mug shot instead of his bae after being indicted by a grand jury for a list of charges as big as Pike’s Peak.

Maketa — well-known for his fiery consternations against the evils of gun control, liberals, gun grabbers, liberals, anti-constitutionalists, gun-grabbing state lawmakers, lying, thieving liberals and gun control — is accused of extortion, false imprisonment, kidnapping and official misconduct. Of course he’s better known for getting caught with his pants down with subordinate employees and sending some snazzy shirtless pics to one of his boos.


El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa ducks under a microphone cord as he avoids reporter's questions on his way to speak to the Board of County Commissioners Tuesday, June 17, 2014 at Centennial Hall in Colorado Springs, Colo. A campaign is underway to recall Maketa, who has been accused of having sexual affairs with subordinates and committing other improprieties. Volunteers said they had about 1,700 signatures on a petition within hours of starting the effort Monday. Maketa is term-limited and will leave office in January unless he is recalled in November. He has apologized for what he called inappropriate behavior but has said he won't resign. (AP Photo/The Colorado Springs Gazette, Michael Ciaglo) MAGS OUT


Magazine salesmen and embattled Sheriff Terry Maketa at a press conference last year, photo via 7 News

Black Forest Fire

El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa speaks to the press Tuesday, June 10, 2014, at the Sheriff's Office in Colorado Springs, Colo., about the details of the Black Forest Fire action report on the eve of the anniversary of the fire. Maketa wouldn't talk about the recent allegations of sexual improprieties in his office. (AP Photo/The Gazette, Christian Murdock)


El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa speaks to supporters of the recall election to oust Senate President John Morse at a rally outside the Pioneer Museum in Colorado Springs, Colo. Wednesday, Sept. 4, 2013. Relatives of three people killed in the mass shootings in Aurora and Newtown campaigned Wednesday for one of two Colorado state senators facing recall elections for their votes on gun control, while sheriffs who oppose the new gun laws rallied those hoping to kick both Democrats out of office. Colorado was the only state outside the East Coast to tighten its gun laws after last year's mass shootings, and the recalls are seen as a gauge of support for gun control in this battleground state. Gun-rights activists set up the state's first legislative recall elections after Morse and Giron's votes on gun control measures, including expanded background checks and a new limit on ammunition magazines. (AP Photo, The Gazette, Michael Ciaglo)

John Cooke, Terry Maketa

Weld County, Colo., Sheriff John Cooke, left, with El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa, center right, and other sheriffs standing behind him, speaks during a news conference at which he announced that 54 Colorado sheriffs are filing a federal civil lawsuit against two gun control bills passed by the Colorado Legislature, in Denver, Friday, May 17 2013. Among other claims, the group of sheriffs and others joining the suit argue that the laws violate the 2nd and 14th Amendments of the U.S. Constitution. (AP Photo/Brennan Linsley)


Sheriff Terry Maketa in a bathroom selfie, a photograph obtained by the Colorado Springs Gazette

Terry Maketa

This is a Thursday, May 26, 2016, booking photograph of Terry Maketa, the former sheriff of El Paso County, Colo., who resigned in 2014. Maketa was indicted on charges on Wednesday, May 25, 2016, including extortion, false imprisonment, second-degree kidnapping and official misconduct. Maketa was indicted along with a former undersheriff and a department commander. (El Paso County, Colo., Sheriffs Department via AP)

Aside from this, sort of, what’s up with the water in Colorado Springs that these righty-flighty types keep cropping up and crapping out? The likes of Maketa, Douglas Bruce, Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt, Ted Haggard and Congressman Doug “Tar Baby” Lamborn seem too much to be a coincidence. As to Maketa’s 11-page grand jury indictment, it didn’t specifically refer to the fiasco reporters at the Colorado Springs Gazette exposed after Sheriff Schnookums reached out for benefits from friends at work.

Previous investigations revealed that Maketa had affairs with three deputies, mishandled internal affairs, removed oversight from his budget and “offered an endorsement to a sheriff candidate in exchange for personal favors,” according to a story by the Associated Press.

After the truth and consequences came out, he refused to quit for months, and the county has so far since paid a few hundred thousand dollars to settle lawsuits against Bae & Co. His response when the sordid truth came out the inevitable became obvious?

“I have performed and risen to the level and beyond what the community has expected,” Maketa said, according to the Gazette. Actually, his indictment and processing at jail this week is what a lot of people were expecting.

But this was hardly Maketa’s first clown rodeo. Before he was the face in the bathroom selfie, the Sheriff of Nuttingham was the face of an effort by a posse of rural sheriffs to sue Colorado. The slingers of the law wanted to rake state Democrat legislators for enacting two gun laws, which did little more than grab a few headlines and never anybody’s gun.

His grace had long been railing against the liberal toads who dared to dabble in gun legislation soon after the Aurora theater shooting and Sandy Hook School Massacre.

Among the rabble on his website while he wore a shiny star:

“We also need to be focusing on our children and the influences they are exposed to and who and what is shaping their conceptual and analytical skills. (Whatever the hell that means — DP) They should be exposed to positive role models that increase their respect and appreciation for human life. They should not be consumed with influences or activities that devalue a human life….Instead of the Federal Government, mainly Congress, continuing to engage in activities of which they have no authority and erodes our constitutional rights, we should focus on criminals and those who are most likely to commit acts of violence and not target the law abiding patriots of our nation.”

Perhaps he and fellow English-As-A-Second-Language Expert Sarah Palin could be a plausible alternative to Donald Trump for prez and vice.

I guess, however, that Maketa and I would now agree that people like him do set a poor example for children and give all of us in the media a healthy sense of job security. If the press didn’t tell you what was going on in Colorado Springs, who would?

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