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Dave Perry: Preoccupations

Editor of the Aurora Sentinel


TheSouth

The media is as much to blame as are white supremacists in perpetuating the myth that the Confederate Flag has ever represented anything other than the right to hate on and abuse blacks in America.

For generations, reporters and editors have thickly allowed bigoted southerners to say on TV and in newspapers that the Confederate flag represents pride in southern heritage.

No matter how much they say it, it does not. I has never stood for that. And by quoting people who say this without immediately refuting the nonsense sown over all these years has allowed the sick notion to hold some legitimacy in America.

The belief that the Stars and Bars illustrates the ideal of fighting for states rights is as ludicrous as saying that the Nazi Flag represents German pride in ingenuity. The Nazis felt they were wronged by their countrymen and the world. They promised to right those “wrongs,” which included a program of improving the German economy and personal wealth by diminishing growing communism and the rights of some Germans, namely Jews.

Who do you know that sees a Nazi flag as a standard for anything positive the Germans did during World War II? And whether southerners did or didn’t fight valiantly during the Civil War, they fought for the right of states to own slaves, not to keep guns, expand trade or import dangerous wild animals. That flag was never hijacked by nefarious southerners who bastardized the true meaning of Stars and Bars for a better America.

The whole thing goes back to the idea that if you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it. I don’t believe it because I was subjected to credible history and not the whacked-out, revisionist stuff that politely lets some southerners have their own opinion based on their own set of facts.

While journalists have a tremendous responsibility to be fair in reporting, we by no means should be irresponsible in perpetuating lies. There is no scientific evidence supporting the myth that there is grave danger in swimming right after eating. If a local politician says they want to outlaw public vaccination because it’s dangerous to young children, we immediately quote experts that refute the nonsense. Unfortunately, the media learned this lesson too late. There is no “grain of truth” in reporting that vaccines are dangerous any more than there is some truth in saying that the Stars and Bars stands for pride in Southern heritage. Unless, of course, that pride shines on a group of treasonous southern states and leaders who were so determined to perpetuate slavery, they declared war on the United States and created their own country. Fans of the Confederate flag and its various iterations accurately argue that the flag and the Civil War was about states’ rights, but the right they fought for was the right to own slaves, and expand slave ownership into the West.

Any other story is outright fabrication.

There was no pact after the Civil War to demand that confederate states enact speed limits on trains, or conduct standardized tests, or let women vote. There was one demand when the South fell, economically and socially crushed by four years of bloody war: Free the slaves.

Because the United States prevailed against the Confederacy, southerners then and now have the liberty to wave that sad banner of slavery all they want. States may have the right to choose to fly such flags, but proponents must be honest for the sake of the naive and misled: The flag of the Confederacy and various versions of it that still fly today symbolize slavery, abuse and segregation. And after the events of the past few days, it stands for a new generation of cruelty and stupidity.

FILE - In this Nov. 6, 2012 file photo, U.S. Rep. Mike Coffman, R-Colo., second from left, jokes with his wife, Cynthia, third from left, as the couple is escorted to the stage during a Republican Party election night gathering in Denver. Colorado will have a new attorney general for the first time in nearly a decade, with voters deciding between Democrat Don Quick, a former district attorney, and Republican Cynthia Coffman, who is the current deputy attorney general. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski, file)

If anything rings true about Colorado’s wild political claims these days, it’s that the state Republican Party does indeed have a really big tent. It must to make room for the Cirque du Désolé opening in Colorado’s big top this week.

The wild political fracas started yesterday morning with Denver Post political news dean Lynn Bartels, as usual, starting what looked to be yet just another story about how the Colorado Republican Party has a penchant for deadly mass duels and then eating its own.

Surprise. There was ho-hum news that GOP state Attorney General Cynthia Coffman —  who’s sometimes from Aurora and sometimes from somewhere else and gets her name and marital status from Congressman Mike Coffman, also pretty much from Aurora  — is now a political big brand and was just letting everyone know that GOP chairman Steve House would, ahem, be leaving his post.

Coffman, who just won her first elected office last November, is being talked as a contender to take on incumbent Democratic Sen. Michael Bennett in 2016. Reportedly, she and a short list won an internal political battle to get House his job against former chairman Ryan Call earlier this year. Yawn.

A few hours later, the political twitterverse lit up after House did an about face and told Bartels and AP political guru Ivan Moreno that he was not only forced out by Coffman and former Colorado GOP heavy hitter Tom  “Nuke ‘Em” Tancredo, but that they were blackmailing him by saying they’ll talk about alleged marital affairs, which he denies.

“No one should be bullied out of running for office, or serving as a leader in our Party,” Chairman Steve House said in a statement.

Lies, all lies, Coffman told the press Tuesday night. Just another instance of righty tighties putting on the usual three-ring act to get what they want. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.

Seriously? Cynthia Coffman? The Colorado GOP Godmother, along with ring-leader Thomas The Tancredo?

That’s a story, and one I never suspected. When Coffman came through here last fall asking for votes to get the AG job, I marveled at how level-headed and likable she was for someone asking for a job that everyone would soon hate her for. It’s a no-win crap hole in that part of state government. She’s no John Suthers.

That whole mess is so inside political manure that it’s hard to pay attention. House didn’t hire outgoing state  legislator Sen. Ted Harvey, darling of tighty righties in the party, to run party operations and, oh, I see you’re drifting off.

The thing that makes this so compelling is that Coffman’s straight-shooter demeanor, which you can’t help but like, is morphing into a shot straight through the heart of her political career. Besides the freaking awesome headlines — “Coffman and Tancredo bring down the House in GOP political spectacle,” or, “Coffman badly burned by GOP House fire” — the story could get legs if House persists in saying that Coffman and Tancredo tried to extort him out of his job. Blackmail doesn’t look good on the résumé, especially out here.

The whole thing could make the bizarre Colorado Springs GOP state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt look like a good Republican marketing plan for 2016.

So now it’s time for every political reporter’s favorite game: Who’s the liar? It can only come to that. Coffman threw out the burning pants card first last night. So it’s up to the other side to play their hand. If it’s a full House, I can’t wait to see what kind of aces Coffman is sure to have. So much intrigue. So many metaphors.

AP Ivan Moreno’s story from last night:

The Colorado Republican Party chairman on Tuesday accused state Attorney General Cynthia Coffman and former U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of trying to force him from his position and warning he may face a lawsuit and false allegations of infidelity if he refused to leave.

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Colorado voters find themselves in an awkward spot because all the presidential contenders wooing us so far come from places that suck.

You know it’s true. As they all line up to win the White House, these strutting political turkeys trot out all their fabulous accomplishments from their home states.

It’s depressing.

Most recent is former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush. Yech. Bush is busting proud of a state that often leads the nation in violent crime, high unemployment, uncontrolled growth, nightmare health-care issues, prolific nut cases, and a permanent place on the list of most-corrupt states. Lovely. Nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want even Sen. Marco Rubio to live there. In fact, of the 49 states Colorado might emulate, Florida rises to the top of everybody’s list to do the opposite.

And Sen. Lindsey Graham, who just can’t say enough good about a state that few can’t say enough bad about? What part of South Carolina would Colorado want to copy? Dismal high-school graduation rates? Endless racism? Shocking public school test scores? No jobs? Graham needs to apologize for South Carolina, not brag about it.

And tell me that former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee was just kidding about giving it another go. Who in Colorado wants Huckabee to turn the whole country into a place that earns tens of thousands of dollars less in median income than the rest of the country? A place that has so few people with graduate education that they have to rent them? A place that regularly weighs in with epidemic obesity problems? A place regularly ranked as one of the worst economies in the country? Follow us, Arkansas. People here think Huckabee is some kind of pie.

And then there’s the Lone Star State and its shooting-star presidential candidates. Former supernova Gov. Rick Perry will flame out even faster than he did last time in trying to persuade the country that Texas has something to teach us. One of the highest violent crime rates in the country isn’t worth repeating. Texas and just a few other states do lead the nation — in syphilis and other sexually transmitted diseases. Nice. Schools? Pretty lousy. The environment is so abused it threatens to leave for Oklahoma. And if you’re not a white male, you’re doing what white males tell you to do. They do have nice roads, which millions use regularly to enjoy paroles right here in Colorado. If we ever wanted to become China, Texas could show us how. As for Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, he’s from outer space and simply landed in Texas, where people think he makes sense. Big red flag there, folks.

Let’s see, then there’s New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Hahahahaha. Colorado would not do well to emulate a state where everyone just can’t move away from fast enough. This is a state that would not even exist but for the good graces of New York City. Without it, it would be Vermont without the charm. And as for Christie himself, he has all the charm of New Jersey.

And how about Gov. Bobby Jindal? Chief warden of a state that bests only itself regularly to reach the bottom. Violent crime, murder, shootings, poverty, racism, unemployment, scandalous education problems and scandalous other scandals. Louisiana is second only to  Mississippi as the most-corrupt state. Thanks to Jindal, things there haven’t gotten better there since he took office. Who wouldn’t want some of that for Colorado and the rest of the country? Ummm, me.

And we might be courted by Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. This is one of those states that’s not anything: Not great, not horrible, not a place to move to, not the greatest supplier of Colorado immigrants. In short, not the worst. If we need someone to lead us to mediocrity, Walker can show us the Wisconsin way.

And don’t think for a moment that Republicans have a lock on do-as-I-say-not-as-I-did in my home state. Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont? It’s Vermont. It’s the stuffed animal of states, doing no one any harm nor good. The only reason the state is so tranquil is that the few people who live there can’t even see each other for the trees.

And Hillary Clinton? Where the hell is she even from? I just figure she came with the White House when it was built. Who wants to be like Washington, D.C.? A place filled with schmoozing know-it-alls who work endlessly at yelling at folks to stay off their lawn, and they can’t even handle that very well.

No, none of the above so far, as far as comparing the homes of these political oddities to Colorado. Out here, we have jobs, rights, schools, health, legal quality weed, colleges, killer beer, snow and Rocky Ford cantaloupe. What we don’t have is a presidential candidate, but I’m still thinking about it.

Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook or reach him at 303-750-7555 or dperry@aurorasentinel.com.

  

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So all the local social media minions have been twitter-pated with news that The Denver Post is facing yet another gouging of the newsroom.

Locals have been gleefully taking shots at Colorado’s largest albeit shrinking newspaper, mostly saying that the news product they produce is the cause of their ailing circulation and financial health. That’s just bullshit, folks.

“Twenty years ago, Denver had two thriving dailies. Today, the monopoly incumbent is on life support. Whatup?” said former state Sen. Shawn Mitchell on Friday via his ever-popular Facebook page of right-wing rants. Mitchell, who is one of the most clever, persistent and amusingly agitating voices of Colorado’s conservatives, was reacting to news this week that the Post would lay off another 20 people from its news operations through buyouts — this after years of peeling off writers, photographers, artists and editors like leaves on an artichoke. And now we come to the heart of that matter.

A flood of Mitchell’s fans/friends/minions piled on the insults, saying that the Post has undone itself.

Tim Ziegler said: “Bias, irresponsible reporting, no trust in the news accuracy, new technology. All have played a part.”

Not really.

Steve Johnson:  “It’s like a supermarket tabloid”

Not even close.

Shawn Miller: “People not willing to overpay for yesterday’s news or advertising. Print media failed to adjust to the new market created by the internet … up next television stations and news. Newspapers could have made themselves relevant by being more in touch with neighborhoods and individual towns rather than trying national or even city wide reports.”

Way wrong. Essentially, it was us, not Al Gore, who invented the Intertubes. It was the media that jumped in and gave you all a reason to come, long before there were shopping, video, games, Google, eBay and even porn. You’re right, though, that how we handled those early days has led to our current woes.

Susy Johnson: “There is an actual newspaper here? Wow, I thought the Denver Democrat Compost had been bought by the Colorado Democrat Party!”

That’s the bulk of what’s floating around the intertubes about the whole thing. Both the right and the left accuse the Post of pandering to “the enemy” and therefore becoming nothing but what we all need to wrap fish, line litter boxes and start campfires, as so many authoritatively pointed out.

Most of you really don’t have a clue what’s happened.

Newspapers primarily hung themselves by giving away their content online 20 years ago, giving people a reason to go out and buy a 14K baud modem. We are now unable to put the genie back in the bottle. So just where do you think all those free online stories come from? Elves? The fruits of real journalists’ labors are freely given and stolen away by you and our pseudo-colleagues. Edu-tainment and s-newz sites, like HuffPo, Yahoo, Buzzfeed, Google and millions of others survive on blood and tears spilled by real journalists at real newsrooms costing real dollars, just like at the Post.

As to advertising, we totally messed up as an industry thinking that we could replicate the advertising business model of print to our online product. For a lot of reasons, even the so-called experts don’t completely understand, it didn’t work. But it’s not because the Post and every other legitimate newspaper in the country doesn’t pump out an ocean of content you want, you need and you talk about every single day. If you don’t believe that, you’re stupid as well as naive. The financial woes of the Post and every other newspaper came from the decisions of bean counters, not the headline writers.

So now the Post, like so many large newspaper companies, comes forward with very bad news, and tries to put some kind of positive spin on it, with the editor saying the paper is just going to have to put out shorter, punchier stories. As if a glut of talent prevented that until now. It’s crap. I know it. They know it. You know it. It’s sad, because stuff you really, really do care about, even if you don’t care to take the time to read about it, won’t get covered. And what do you think happens to issues that don’t get public scrutiny? Exactly.

As for the Post being the darling of Colorado liberals, just ask. Ask how many subscribers cancelled when the Post endorsed Cory Gardner — and have not and will not come back. Just ask about the Post endorsements of Ken Buck, both Coffmans and a variety of Colorado Springs whack jobs. Ask liberals what they think about how the Post covers their agenda. About fracking. About Obamacare and climate change. I think you’ll be surprised.

And, clearly, conservatives, too, feel like the Post has an agenda, and it’s not theirs. It’s all tin-foil and conspiracy-theory theatrics, folks. It’s just not true, at least not like you imagine it. Real journalists work real hard every single day to ask these questions every time they file a story: No. 1: Is it accurate? No. 2: Is it fair? No. 3: Is it an honest attempt to tell what’s happening and what’s at stake? Real journalists really do go through that every day. I can guarantee you, pseudo-journalists and PR types have other priorities, such as “does this convey the message that I, or my bosses/leaders/shareholders/officers, etc., want to convey?”

But here’s the most important thing. What most of you really don’t realize is that the Denver Post is not a single thing, but a sum of its parts. And it’s made up of some of the most ethical, talented, hard-working and determined journalists in the business. THEY are the Denver Post, and they’re liberal, conservative, none and all of the above. Slam journalism all you want — it’s really OK. We get it. It comes with the job. We hear you. And despite what you think, we react to criticism and praise because that’s who we are — without a real working press, you would be living in a place like Russia or Iran. No kidding. No freaking kidding. Sneer all you want, what we do is that vital, because almost all of you don’t have the time, the interest nor the ability to ferret out mundane crap and deep shit alike. And if you think you’ll get the straight story straight from the horses’ asses in government, at Monsanto, at Chrysler, at Blue Bell, you are oh, oh, oh so very wrong. And if you think TV news has the ability to pick up the slack, you are even more wrong.

So sneer all you want about the misfortunes of the Post and our industry. But I promise you that without it, Denver, and Aurora, and all of Colorado, will be a far lesser place than it is. I very often don’t agree with many news and non-news decisions the Post makes, but I have no hesitation in insisting that the mission and product of the Denver Post —  and the Colorado Springs Gazette, and the Durango Herald and the Aurora Sentinel — is critical to the region’s well-being and success. In any way you can, you should support the Post and other media, and tell them what you like and hate. But if you dismiss them, and all of us, you dismiss the only real defense society has against everything you spend so much time complaining about — that matters.

June 27, 2013

It’s been a banner week for whacky American sex talk. In Denver, former state Sen. John Andrews, who has a rich history of neo-con-stipation, stepped in it while explaining why he fought a gay Republican group’s effort to attend a national GOP event here last week.

After telling the Log Cabin Republicans they weren’t Christian enough to do anything but give the GOP money, Andrews said he and his fellow Neos actually welcome any Judeo-Christian types, even those afflicted with “alternative lifestyles.”

Is being heterosexual a “lifestyle” and homosexuality an “alternative?” Like living off the grid in a teepee or something? Do gay couples not have to pay bills, clean toilets, argue about loading the dishwasher, talk crap about the neighbor’s vicious dog and laugh out loud whenever Texas Sen. Ted Cruz opens his mouth?

Not to be outdone, the loser lawyer from Utah who lost the gay-marriage case in that state, essentially starting the dominoes that fell all the way to the Supreme Court this week, said yesterday that legalizing gay marriage will lead to 900,000 abortions. That’s because dudes marrying dudes will discourage other dudes from marrying anybody, and straight hook-ups tend to make for more abortions, and so there you go. Arguments like that make it pretty clear that, well, the homophobes just don’t have a better argument than that.

But my very favorite homophopithycus blarb this week came from some gack at the Family Research Council who said marriage is meant to “domesticate” men, make them go to church more and lower their testosterone levels. They argue that women like to be subservient to men, and it’s important for men to oblige them. That women are happier when Daddy is the big breadwinner and Mommy stays home and does the ironing. Two mommies or two daddies couldn’t possibly figure all that out, and there would just be testosterone everywhere.

What we need is a diversion for the Neos. So I’m starting a support group for gay and lesbian cross-dressing Muslim illegal immigrant cat collectors from Cuba who came here for the sole purpose of enrolling in Obamacare and getting food stamps.

Dave Perry

You may not like the brutally weird and insensitive things oddball Colorado Springs state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt inflicts on all of us, but you’ve got to love the irony this politician has brought down on himself.

The first-term Republican has made himself a recent Household name for his extremist anti-gay and anti-abortion-rights rhetoric. Sometimes as a member of the state House of Representatives, but mostly as his YouTube alter-ego, Dr. Chapps. Chapps is a fiery clerical persona that spews punctiliously scriptural nonsense for his for-profit ministry, “Pray In Jesus’ Name.” Last week, he told his faithful that the pregnant Longmont woman who was viciously attacked by a woman who cut her unborn child from her body was a curse sent from God because of bad human behavior.

The comments created a firestorm at the Capitol, where Republicans said Klingenschmitt was embarrassing the Republican Party and Democrats said he was embarrassing the human race.

So Klingenschmitt’s own House leadership removed him from one of his two committee seats as punishment.

The irony? Msr. Klingenschmitt was the state rep who sponsored a bill earlier allowing the deeply religious to discriminate against gays, if the Good Book tells them so. While the bill failed, plenty of Republicans rallied for the measure, saying it kept the government from infringing on First Amendment rights.

Well, well, well. Looks like it was the GOP, not some gay couple looking for a wedding cake that was behind forcing Klingenschmitt to apologize and essentially abandon his deeply held religious views, however kooky and offensive the rest of his fellow Republicans and others found them.

Cries of foul by some fellow Republicans are pretty well founded, I’d say. Klingenschmitt made his comments outside of the Capitol, actually, and not in an official capacity as a state representative, but as the whacky Dr. Chapps. KlingenChapps is pretty much the same now as he was when his Colorado Springs constituents elected him first in a GOP primary last year and then as the Republican candidate.

Of course this is all politics. And he serves on committees at the pleasure of the democratically created House rules, which say that if you piss off leadership, they can jack with your committee assignments. Klingenschmitt can consider himself jacked.

In the mean time, he’s learned a little contrition. He said he’s muting Dr. Chapps until the end of the session, and he’s faithfully voting his party’s ticket until the end of the session.

It’s political theater. The real show will take place at home in Colorado Springs, where his own constituents can either “wink, wink, nudge, nudge” him into better behavior, and probably elect him to a second term next time around. Apparently in a state House district like his, with great responsibility comes great freedom.

— Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook

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Now this is enough to make your Bull-Crap-O-Meter hit the red-line.

In an effort to keep the entire world from black-listing all of Indiana for obtusely enacting a new gay-hate law “allowing” those so religiously inclined to discriminate against homosexuals if their Good Book tells them so, this dizzying spin has spun out of the religious right across the country: It’s not about discrimination, it’s about protecting the free speech and reverent rights of business owners.

If you can’t tell the right from the left here, just try this. Here’s the right’s explanation of how innocent this whole thing is as written by Tobin Grant at the Washington Post today:

“(The Religious Freedom Restoration Act) was a way for the Indiana legislature to do something in response to the same-sex marriage ruling. RFRA was seen as a way to give residents and businesses that objected to same-sex marriage a way around having to cater to same-sex couples”

Now just replace “same-sex” with “interracial.”

“(The Religious Freedom Restoration Act) was a way for the Indiana legislature to do something in response to the interracial marriage ruling. RFRA was seen as a way to give residents and businesses that objected to interracial marriage a way around having to cater to interracial couples”

How about this:

“(The Religious Freedom Restoration Act) was a way for the Indiana legislature to do something in response to the Jewish marriage ruling. RFRA was seen as a way to give residents and businesses that objected to Jewish marriage a way around having to cater to Jewish couples”

Here’s the deal. Gay couples are like anyone else, they don’t want to give their money to people who hate them or make fun of them or just think God will smite them. Given a choice, we all will give our money to businesses that treat us well instead of treat us poorly.

A workable solution here would be to allow any business to discriminate against anyone on a religious basis. All they would have to do to get the “permit for discrimination” is to post it prominently on every door of their establishment, on order forms and menus, and on websites and print advertisements. Given their fervent pious convictions, there’s no doubt they’ll be proud to share them with the entire world. It would be sacrilegious and hypocritical to be a faithful bigot and hide that from people who don’t share your fervor, just for the sake of making a buck. I have it from good sources that all the holy ones frown on such things. So then let the public decide, too, who their religious and ethical convictions should shell out cash to. I know I would use something like this as a daily touchstone. No service to gays, blacks, immigrants or Muslims? See ya.

Colorado lawmakers saw the folly of this nonsense and nipped it in the budding bigotry a few weeks ago. They don’t learn so quickly in the Midwest.

Now, it would be hugely rewarding to walk inside a bakery and ask about a wedding cake for 500 and then say, “Oh, you discriminate against gays? Never mind.” But if it’s the only game in town, that’s another story. If it’s the only hotel on the road turning away blacks or lesbians because Jesus told them to do it, that becomes a real problem. Can you imagine what Indiana Gov. Mike Pence would do if the last gas station for the next 100 miles said over the loud speaker at pump no. 5, “I’m sorry, sir, but God won’t let me serve your kind” because my religion is offended by White Anglo Saxon Protestants. And may someone else’s God bless you.

No. Probably best go with the idea that if you serve the public, you have to treat all of the public the same: blacks, whites, Canadians, gays, teachers and even Republican governors and state lawmakers that still have some growing up to do. Well, maybe not Canadians. We’ll see.

Follow @EditorDavePerry on Facebook and Twitter or email at dperry@AuroraSentinel.com

State Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt

OK. You tell me. What is it about the air, the water, the experimental mind-control waves leaking out of Cheyenne Mountain that produces such a vibrant crop of political whack-jobs in the Colorado Springs area?

You know it’s not just me. For years, you’ve seen and heard these odd tubers rise into the light and clamor for attention.

This, dear reader, is the part of the state that produced the one, the only, the unlovable tax-protesting, reporter-kicking, government-despising star of the El Paso Republican Party, Mr. Douglas Bruce. For those of you who don’t know Mr. Bruce by his reputation, you know him as the guy who created the most unworkable tax-laws in the world, which Colorado voters swallowed hook, line and sinker about 20 years ago.

Just when you thought weird and mean couldn’t get any louder, Colorado Springs sends a message straight from God to the state House this session. Enter state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt. This self-appointed man of the cloth and man upstairs — he goes by Dr. Chapps as a Bible-thumping, brimstone-roasting scolder of humanity on YouTube — in just a few days managed to incense the world by saying that God was behind the recent horrific attack on a pregnant woman in Longmont, cursing humans for their sins.

“Part of that curse for our rebellion against God as a nation is that our pregnant women are ripped open,” according to a 9News story.

Oy vey, dude. Get a grip. Get a life. Somebody get that man a 72-hour hold.

Not happy yet, today down at the Capitol during a hearing for a bill that would let transgender residents change their birth certificates to reflect what sex they are, despite what sex they were born, Klingenshmitt just could not hide his crazy hate for such a thing.

First he wanted to know whether they could change their birth sex and their birth date. Finally, he just said, “It’s one thing to ask someone to pretend, It’s another thing to ask the government to agree with that pretense.”

Such a sensitive soul. Such a leader. Of course he’s much, much more than just two days worth of hate. This is the guy who tried his damnedest to allow Colorado businesses to discriminate against gays and lesbians if the Good Book told them to. The bill failed miserably, but a measure just about like it passed today in Indiana. Immediately, the rest of the world started calling for Indiana boycotts. Pretty scary for them, if anyone did any real business with Indiana, I suppose.

Klingenshmitt never met a gay issue he didn’t hate. But the hate doesn’t stop there. He’s compared Planned Parenthood to ISIS. Yes, really. He said the Supreme Court will make good on its conservative leaning and the gays will all go to fiery hell. Yup. And Obamacare? Don’t get him started. He said that causes cancer. Most of that came out BEFORE Colorado Springs voters elected Dr. Chapps to heal liberal sickness under the gold dome. Do they not have TV down there?

These two are just a couple in a long list of questionable politicians sprouting up in the shadow of the Garden of Gods.

There’s current Congressman Doug Lamborn, who started his Congressional career so unethically that former Congressman Joel Hefley publicly said how disgusted he was. Since then, Lamborn has made a name for himself calling President Barack Obama a ‘tar baby.’ His most recent claim to fame is angering a world of military officials and contractors by publicly bragging that he’s urging active-duty U.S. generals to resign right away to undermine the Obama administration. What a patriot.

Just as patriotic is my personal favorite, Sheriff Terry “Happy Pants” Maketa. The guy who ran his own personal law enforcement agency to accommodate his pals and sexual liaisons, and had the selfies to prove it. He just never had the nerve to step aside after he got caught.

Past and current Colorado Springs politicians frequently move in and out of the sphere of Focus on The Family, the far-right conservative world that just wants to focus on your family. They say they don’t so much hate gays, as they just wanted to send them to straighten-up brainwashing therapy, soon to be illegal in this state despite Colorado Springs critics of the measure.

I don’t even recognize the Colorado Springs that gave this state attorney John Love, who was the embodiment of moderation as governor. It was he who signed a bill that made Colorado the first state in the nation to legalize abortion in the 1960s.

And now, the Springs sends us Klingenshmitt. No, thanks. Send him back.

— Dave Perry. Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook

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So within 5 minutes on the Denver-area radio station I was listening to today, the advertisements were for:

• Men with low testosterone –“which can result in those dreaded sexual problems”

• Parents with stupid children  — “My daughter’s very smart but just can’t keep up in school. At 32, the other kids make fun of her trouble with math.”

• Putting Mama in a home — “Just shut up and get in the car”

• Men getting the hair permanently removed from their backs, FOR HER — “I’m still not touching you.”

• A way to lose 30 pounds in 30 days from those trouble spots and never feel hungry once! — “Ask-your-doctor-first-before-undergoing-an-induced-coma-not-all-patients-regain-conciousness-risk-of-permanent-death-and-or-brain-damage-is-considerable-after-10-days-in-a-coma-patients-must-agree-not-to-sue-anyone”

• And finally, an ad for better bifocals that don’t look like bifocals so no one will know how old you are even though you’re fat, bald, stooped and hold your iPhone upside down all the time and order nothing but the daily specials because you couldn’t read the tiny print on those damned menus even if they did turn up the lights.

The station used to rock. Sounds now like they’re rocking a bunch of fat, limp, hairy, nearsighted, losers living in their parents’ basements. Go, Deadheads.

— Follow Dave Perry on Twitter and Facebook @EditorDavePerry

vahospital2

Aurora’s Congressman Mike Coffman came out of another battle victorious this week.

The 21-year military veteran and three-term Republican congressman got into a war of words with VA Secretary Robert McDonald a couple of weeks ago during a House committee hearing on why the Aurora VA boondoggle hospital and similar over-budget, over-deadline boondoggle projects are still over-budget and nowhere near complete.

The heated hearing went nuclear while Coffman pressed McDonald to know whether he’s cleaned up the “corruption” and   “incompetence” at the Veterans Affairs administration. McDonald blew a gasket, giving Coffman the who-do-you-think-you-are-? treatment and shot back, “I’ve run a large company, sir. What have you done?”

That prompted Coffman to post this on his congressional website:

“Let me start by telling you something I haven’t done. I have never run a federal agency that tolerates corruption the way the VA has. I’ve never built a hospital that’s years behind schedule and hundreds of millions over budget. And I’ve never been a shill for inept bureaucrats who allowed American heroes to die on a medical waiting list while waiting for medical care.”

Ouch. After a brief time when all sides were looking for a way to quit shifting blame and start moving building materials, clearly, the shill is gone, just not from his VA post.

Coffman fought in both Iraq wars and helped run elections in that war-torn country while he was Colorado Secretary of State, and he gets a lot of mileage from his veteran’s veteran status. So then the sniping started about whether Coffman was a real combat veteran, or just did time in a tent in the desert.

Coffman said he won that battle this week when the Washington Post took Coffman to task about what his military record really was. They gave the Aurora native a green check-mark o’ truth, confirming that he was indeed honored by the U.S. Marines for being in real battle during his first tour of duty in Iraq. To get the distinction, you have to be somewhere the enemy is shooting and you have the opportunity to shoot back. No word on whether Coffman did that, but he’s firing back at McDonald by spreading the word of the Washington Post. Your move, Secretary McDonald.

And the Aurora VA hospital? Yuck.

— Follow Editor Dave Perry on Face Book and Twitter, he’s EditorDavePerry

 

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